Happy Thursday! (It is Thursday, right?)…
Anyway, I have been so behind on getting new material and blog posts to you guys. But I am trying to get back on track because I love doing this blog and refuse to give up because I had a setback and fell behind.
I want to be honest with you all, not just for me but in hopes that someone who is dealing with the same feelings will read this and maybe feel inspired by it. I have been dealing with my Anxiety a lot lately. It’s like I will be okay for a while, even if it’s just because I have been pushing it all to the background and trying to ignore it or work around it. Well, it came back full force and my panic attacks came back. I couldn’t focus on anything and I felt overwhelmed and like I was drowning.
Lately, I have been unhappy about a lot of things in my life. I have been unsatisfied with my job, my current financial situation, living situation, just everything. And I have been letting the negativity of others affect me. I also have a tendency to get in my own way but yesterday, after forcing myself to deal with my anxiety and what was bothering me, it all hit me. I need to focus on what I can do with what I have.
There are just so many little things I can do to at least be content with where I am until I can make more moves. I am from and currently living in a place where there aren’t many opportunities and many of it’s residents are just content with where they are, not caring if they don’t do anything or go anywhere. I can’t and won’t do that. My current degree and experience can only get me so far so I have to literally FIND more skills and experience on my own. I have no problem working on that. I just know that I have big dreams and goals that I want to achieve. I feel that I am meant for more. Yes I have had plenty of setbacks (too many to name). I have to keep telling myself, ONE STEP AT A TIME… THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON… I don’t how religious or spiritual any of you are… I’m not even sure about myself… But I do know that I have been put in this position, maybe even put here to struggle, just so I can realize my own strength and fight to make a better life for myself.
I do have a support system but they don’t quite understand what I am currently going through. We have a completely different way of seeing and handling things. They support me but I am in this battle alone for now. I WILL OVERCOME THIS! I have to believe that. And while I fight this, I will have my headphones on.
I hope my little story hit a chord with some of you who may be dealing with the same things. Know that you are not alone. We don’t have to be like everyone else. Being “different”, especially it mean just being yourself, F*ck what anyone has to say. If you’re happy then that’s all that matters.
I promise to be back with some fire a** posts very soon LOL 🙂